“Mother, where do babies come from?”

A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in.

“Mother, where do babies come from?”

The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug and have sex.”

Charge for Sex

A woman went to a lawyer to discuss divorcing her husband. “Don’t you love him anymore?” asked the lawyer.

“Oh, I still love him,” the chick replied. “But all he ever wants is sex, I can’t take it.”

“Instead of divorcing him why don’t you try charging him every time he wants to make love?” the lawyer suggested.

The exhausted wife decided to give the plan a try. As soon as she walked into the house that night her husband put the hard word on her.

“Not so fast,” she replied. “From now on it’ll be $10 in the kitchen, $20 in the living room and $50 in the bedroom.”

“Well, then,” he said. “Here’s $50.”

The wife began walking to the bedroom.

“Hold on,” he said, grabbing her hand. “That’ll be five times in the kitchen!”

Why Engineers and Scientists Don’t Write Recipe Books…

Chocolate Chip Cookies:

Ingredients:

1.) 532.35 cm3 gluten
2.) 4.9 cm3 NaHCO3
3.) 4.9 cm3 refined halite
4.) 236.6 cm3 partially hydrogenated tallow triglyceride
5.) 177.45 cm3 crystalline C12H22O11
6.) 177.45 cm3 unrefined C12H22O11
7.) 4.9 cm3 methyl ether of protocatechuic aldehyde
8.) Two calcium carbonate-encapsulated avian albumen-coated protein
9.) 473.2 cm3 theobroma cacao
10.) 236.6 cm3 de-encapsulated legume meats (sieve size #10)

Directions:

Yarsagumba: The Himalayan Viagra

Yarsagumba or Yarchagumbu is an exceptional and incredible herb that grows in the pastures above 3,300 meters upto 4000 meters in the Himalayan regions of Nepal, Bhutan, India and Tibet.

Yarsagumba is also known as the “Himalayan Viagra” or “Himalayan Gold” for its high medicinal and commercial value. It is mainly used as a treatment for impotency in many countries. Numerous scientific studies and research reveals that it has properties of antibiotic in it. Cordycep sinensis is used for lung and respiratory infection, pain, sciatica and backache. It also provides vitality and increases physical stamina of the body. Yarsa gumba is used by the Chinese to cure chronic hepatitis B and immune function such as dysfunctioning of liver.

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The Technical Geek Test

Are you a technical geek?

Do you have a problem with overdoing your technical activities? Many do. Take the following test to see if you are compulsive. If you can relate to 2 of the items, you may have a problem with Techno-Dweeb. If you relate to 3 or more, you are definitely a Techno-Dweeb. Do not despair! There is help! You are not alone! Whenever you feel the urge to code in Assembler, call the number in the white pages of your phone book, and we will send somebody right over to cut out paper dolls with you until the feeling passes.

You know you are a tehcnical geek when . . .

Smoking!!

Two Chimps and a Blonde

A blonde lady motorist was about two hours from San Diego when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down. The man walked up to the car and asked, “Are you going to San Diego?”

“Sure,” answered the blonde, “do you need a lift?”

“Not for me. I’ll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck. My problem is I’ve got two chimpanzees in the back which have to be taken to the San Diego Zoo. They’re a bit stressed already so I don’t want to keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me? I’ll give you $100 for your trouble.”

Nerd Meditation